我想吻一个吻题

I have a fifth grader who kisses me everyday after class. The first time, I had told her I liked her grasshopper eraser while I was walking around checking their work. I mean, this is the coolest eraser I’ve ever seen; it’s a life-size fucking grasshopper. I said 我喜欢这个, and after class she told me to have it. I refused but she insisted, and now I have this cool-ass eraser. Anyway, then she asked, ‘wo keyi wen yi xia ma?’ Me thinking it was the 问问题的问, so I was like sure! I love questions. But no, she meant 亲吻的吻 and kissed my cheek, saying ‘I love you’ in English. I asked my local teacher friends if this was normal and they just shrugged. Now she doesn’t even ask: she waits for all the other kids to file out while trying to make small talk, and then kisses me before I even have the chance to say ‘I’m fine thanks.’ It’s bizarre and probably sweet, but when your whole relationship revolves around kisses and I love yous, it feels pretty cheap, you know?

Reppin' the Imperialists with One Choice Fashion Accessory

A good friend came to 听课 and snapped these photos of my 6th(1) class. I love when people come to observe because my kids behave like little pups. Featuring my dearest, most beloved, functional smartboard.

This girl is so smart, so sassy, and such a leader. She has a better command of the classroom than I do.

That moment when I realize I'm completely unqualified as a teacher

TPR for "is"

These kids are awesome, but never have I ever seen them all paying attention unless there's a video camera behind them.

TPR for "tofu"

Teaching English: The Final Throwdown

This past week all the first-year English teachers of 界头 were to come together and compete for the most revered title this side of China: Number One English Teacher. Seven English teachers from various elementary schools, two endless incomprehensible meetings, a panel of scrutinizing judges, and a 听课 (class observing) marathon.

Though some tried to dazzle with elaborate powerpoints (wow did that image just have an animation AND a sound effect?), most tried to emphasize their flawless pronunciation of the word 'the' (did you know very few languages have a voiced dental fricative? Aka th in the). We were given grading sheets and expected to assign a score to each person's performance. Sadly, I pulled in at a mere second. Madeline "no, I don't need a smartboard" Christensen took the title, and won the hearts of third graders throughout the land.

It was a ridiculous two-day event in which myself and Maddy, another TFC fellow, were regarded as English-teaching prophets sent to spread the TPR word. I spent about 30 minutes making my powerpoint and arrived late to class, while other teachers had obviously spent hours and hours perfecting their lesson plan. Sure, as native speakers we can say English pretty good, but shouldn't the hard work of these local teachers be recognized, if not rewarded? It's beyond uncomfortable to be pitted against each other in a 'competition' and then automatically be chosen as superior. We were even asked to give our feedback first, before the judges who are experienced teachers, and over the other participants who weren't asked to speak at all. Although I appreciate the idea of coming together as novice English teachers to 听课 , I think ranking us is an unnecessary amount of pressure. But kudos to our forward-thinking 领导 (government officials) for coming up with something constructive, despite the somewhat misled execution.